Last Updated on: Apr 07, 2021
Most of us have families, and in many ways, we are the product of the family we were raised in. Familial background plays a major role in the development of our character traits, weaknesses, and recurring life struggles. The idea of a cursed family emerges from the inheritance of generational problems passed down from our parents to us.
What We'll Cover
Families can be cursed, but not in a religious or spiritual sense. Family curses are passed down from one generation to the next in the form of maladaptive behaviors, thoughts, or attitudes that can hinder our quality of life professionally, emotionally, and psychologically.
If there are specific behaviors, thoughts, or attitudes that have repeatedly held you back in specific areas of your life, then you are most likely enacting a family curse. In this article, we will provide you guidance on how to overcome your family curse in three simple yet effective steps.
Can Families Be Cursed?
A cursed family is not suffering from a spell or a cursed family name, but rather identifiable behaviors and beliefs that damage the integrity and aptitude of the people within that family. Unless you have put in the time to understand your family dynamics, you probably have some unaddressed family baggage.
This family baggage, or family curses, can take many different forms depending on the surrounding culture and values instilled in you.
- Limiting beliefs about yourself
- Unrealistic expectations about yourself and the world
- Unhealthy eating habits
- Abusive behavior
- Drug abuse
- Mental health problems
- Bad temper
- Poor communication skills
Depending on your family background, your family curse can take the form of any of these different problems. In some families, these problems are worsened by your genetic makeup, which is sometimes the case for families with a long history of alcoholism or substance abuse.
Most families have some unaddressed issues hiding underneath the carpet. Think about the last time your family had an argument or a fight, then pose some questions to yourself: What was the reason for this family conflict? What is the underlying cause for most of the problems in my family?
Many of the problems your family has can be traced back to problems you encountered in the household as a child. Not to mention, your spouse’s family history is another thing you need to contend with after your own. When it comes to family curses, there is always a link between a past family problem and a present one.
The Impact of Family Curses
As stated above, family curses are not rooted in magic or the supernatural. However, they are very real and very impactful A family curse is one of the following negative traits passed down over generations. These lead to predictably less than optimal outcomes for the next generation in line.
- Maladaptive behavior
- Maladaptive thought
- Maladaptive attitude
Like with any problem, a family curse has a source and a solution that is waiting to be discovered. Even if you are unaware of them, these problems play themselves out in front of you and make your family more dysfunctional than is necessary. The solution to the problem is usually rooted in trials or difficulties your ancestors faced.
Sometimes a family curse only goes back a couple of generations, while others go back several generations. These maladaptive behaviors can accumulate over time and become a source of tension and conflict for your family. That is why a swift and effective intervention is the best course of action for your family’s sake.
How Do You Break a Family Curse?
These family curses are not set in stone and can be ameliorated with enough effort put into working on yourself. Just like bad habits or thoughts are learned, these maladaptive behaviors can be deprogrammed when you identify them properly, practice enough self-awareness, and take action.
Below are steps you need to take to break a family curse:
- Admit you have a problem
- Investigate the source
- Practice self-awareness and decondition the behavior
- Stay committed
- Seek professional help if you need to
These steps are solely aimed at breaking your family curse. In some cases, you will be replacing an old, outdated behavior or thought pattern with a new, more adaptive one. This is what cognitive-behavioral therapy aims to do, but with extra steps. For those really in need, find a counselor or https://www.amazon.com/Jonas-Clark-ebook/dp/B07TCDMR24licensed professional to sort out your troubles.
Admit the Problem
Before you can progress, you need to admit that there is a problem. Sometimes our egos or sense of pride get in the way of admitting our wrongs, but this is essential if you are going to make things better. Set your ego aside and do what is best for yourself and your family.
Unlike other problems you may face, family curses find a way to sustain themselves across time and space. Meaning that if you do not take the initiative now, your kids and potentially your grandkids will pay the price. For most people, this is enough motivation to deal with family problems sooner rather than later.
Investigate the Source
Whether you realize it or not, a family curse originates from some distant moment in the past. You may need to think about your childhood or possibly even your parent’s family history. It might be uncomfortable, but you may need to ask your parents or grandparents some questions before you find a clear answer.
Once you understand where a thought, behavior, or attitude came from, you can properly contextualize where the family curse came from. This will not only motivate you to change for the better but help you find a more functional, healthier alternative to the behavior.
Practice Self-Awareness and Deconditioning
After you admit that you have a family curse and establish the context behind it, you need to practice self-awareness and understand the pattern of your thoughts and behavior. Unless you can catch yourself before acting out, then the cycle of negative thoughts or behavior will inevitably continue.
Here are some simple steps you can follow to practice self-awareness:
- Record your habits daily
- Pay attention to your strongest reactions
- Monitor your most intense negative and positive emotions
In the beginning, you will most likely fail to stop yourself because you may not understand what conditions cause you to engage in the behavior. However, once you figure out the emotions and context behind the behavior, your mind will catch on, and you will find opportunities to stop yourself. This process is called deconditioning.
For some behaviors, it may not be so simple. In the case of bad eating habits, you will need to slowly transition out bad food from your diet. For behaviors like this, a slightly healthier, substitute behavior is necessary before you can learn to properly regulate your impulses.
Even if you understand the changes you need to make, do not try to suddenly stop the behaviors or habits you engage in. It will take time to adjust, so rushing the deconditioning process will only heighten your risk of failure to adapt. As a general rule of thumb, choose stable incremental progress over rushed adaptation.
Stay Committed
As mentioned previously, family curses are much more dreadful than your typical everyday problems due to their tendency to sustain themselves across generations. Staying committed is a must if you wish to break a family curse and ease the burden it creates.
Remember that your decisions have consequences. The consequences of an ancestor’s behavior got you here, but it will be your job to establish a new legacy for yourself. Taking the time to address your family issues will not only save you from wasted energy on unnecessary conflict but save the children you leave behind.
Become a role model for yourself and your family.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
In extreme or severe cases, you may need to consult a doctor, counselor, or psychiatrist for effective treatment. For long-time drug users, the effects of withdrawing from a drug can make recovery seem almost impossible.
Trauma, abuse, or genetically-linked mental illness may also require extreme counter-measures to be taken depending on the severity.
These are not small matters, so do not hesitate to get professional help if you need to.
Conclusion
Family curses do not live in a world of magic or fantasy but are real-world problems families face and continue to endure unless you speak up about it. Committing yourself to the remediation of your family curses is one of the most consequential decisions you can ever make.
Take the time to break your family curses. Your future self and the future generations will thank you.
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